Sunday, March 9, 2014

The Harsh Reality

Most of my friends went to audition in Copenhagen at the Opera Academy this weekend.

None made it through to the second round.

This is the harsh reality…

You can be good, great, amazing and there is still going to be someone better… Or is it luck? Is it when the the judges are having a good day that you get through?

I spoke with my teacher today sharing my frustration. He laughed at my worries as it doesn’t really involve or concern me personally, but it does.
It worries me that I could one day be too old (they usually will set a limit at 30, and some places even younger) and have to realise that I’m just not good enough, that is why I chose not to apply anymore this year.
I know that I’m not good enough now, but I’m still considered young.
Don't get me wrong, I don’t feel 24 is an age to feel old about. I’m quite content with my age, but in singing world, the clock is ticking. I have friends that are well into their music studies at good music conservatories around Europe and I’m not. 
I am constantly told not to compare myself to anyone, but how can I not? Everyone says “You’ll get in next year”. I’ve been living in Stockholm for 4 years soon and I’m still not in. I’ve soon accomplished "Stockholm Operastudio", which opens doors and has taught me tremendously about opera, but it’s not sufficient enough. Becoming a singer takes 8-10 years depending on what kind of voice one has. I have a slightly larger voice, so it is natural that it takes more time for me.

It only makes it more evident that I’m in need of a serious back up plan. 
I, personally see it as a privilege in life to be able to be educated. There are people in the world that have nothing, no basic schooling and that is all they wish for in life, a way to make life better for themselves. I have a great life in one of the richest and safest countries in the world. An education is expected of me. I expect an education for me, because I deserve one. I really want it to be music and I’m prepared to fight tooth and nail for it, but if that is not enough I still want something I’ll enjoy just as much…And here I am back to that good old question I was asked as a six year old: 
What do I want to be when I grow up?

xx Erika Grace

Photo: Åke Cappelin

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